The Fog is Lifting......

Or as Gloria Estefan put it "Coming Out of the Dark..... I can finally see the light....."

Minutes after I posted my last entry my water broke in the middle of Taco Bell. sigh... every pregnant women's nightmare. Went home, ( I drove myself, sitting on a pile of paper napkins ) and nothing happend for 6 hours. I did accomplish one goal by walking to the hospital! Anyhow, nothing happened so they induced at 8:45pm. First couple of contractions by 9:15pm, the Doula got there at 9:25pm and Brennon was born at 11:30pm! Fast and furious, no time for drugs, BAM!! There he was. Beautiful.

Thats all I can write about right now, the rest has been a haze. Ive been told to hold on for the first couple of months and so Im doing that while realizing that the pain in childbirth that Eve brought upon us, is not limited to labor and delivery, it's in the transition of post-partum and the hecticness of transitioning from one child to two. (Operating system 2.0 as my husband puts it.) Its in the blue fog of post-partum harmonal chaos. Its in the emotional separation from the first child to the fierce "mommabearness" attachment to the second. Its in the heartbreak of that separation.

It has made me ponder the role of Christ's resurrection in the life of a post-partum woman. Someone told me about a book they read called "Buddha never raised kids and Jesus didn't drive carpool" The title is so appropo.

peace for now.

Baby Tizzy

For the past month, I've been trapped in a pregnancy whirlwind of trying to get my entire life in order before the upcoming birth of Son #2! Baby clothes, laundry, shopping, cleaning, sorting, birth classes, email lists, call lists, moving furniture, last minute meetings, carseats, writing out birth preferences, burning cd's, talking to doulas, getting pictures taken, batteries, setting up a hospital "carepage", cd's, film (video camera) etc, its CRAZY! All that's left is packing the bag to the hospital. But Im tempted to leave that off the list until I actually go into labor.
Thankfully Ads has been a HUGE help, especially in keeping me off the ceiling. I had several sleepless nights in a row but have now calmed down enough to the point that Im just doing the usual waking up several times a night to use the facilities.
Went to the Dr. last tuesday and have begun to dilate. That got me in the biggest tizzy as my last pregnancy only lasted 2.5days after the Doctor did this wonderful thing called "stripping membranes". Its really as bad as it sounds. However! I am past the 2.5days and am comfortable just letting things happen the way they will naturally.

Whew!

Triscuit Momma

Today was a lazy day. As Im getting my two year old ready for lunch he excitedly points at the Triscuits box cover and shouts "Mommy! Mommy!" Confused I ask him what he wants. "That's Mommy!" he says. Ahhhh...... Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder! So as I sit down for lunch, still in my faded blue bathrobe with the tie just barely wrapped around my 7.5month belly, I smile knowing that I am beautiful in the eyes of my little boy. He thinks Im Rachel Ray.

Cooking While Pregnant

I've been married now for almost 9.5 years and have never made a pot roast. Pot roast is one of my all time favorite dishes. I make my mom make it every time I see her. Anyhow, I've learned that I shouldn't try new things while working with a pregnancy brain. I read and reread the recipe and this morning got up and threw everything in the crockpot as soon as I got up. Very proud of the fact that despite hating cooked carrots and having never eaten a parsnip before, I still included them in my pot roast, confident that I was going to try everything on my plate tonight. Fast forward 8hours and as Im reading the directions for making the gravy ( a first as well) I am shocked to discover that I have left out the onions. sigh...... pot roast with no onions. Gravy with no onions. I thought that was really strange when I was reading the recipe, but whats obviously scary is that when I read it now, it has onions..... freaky.....

Car Laws

The other day, it finally happened. I was pumping gas and the receipt didn't print out. Not only did the receipt not print out, the screen went blank so I didn't even know how much I had spent on filling up. What to do? Do I blow my budget? Move the car, get E out , run in and get E back in for a receipt? Or just run in and get the receipt without any heavy lifting? "Just this once." I thought. So I ran inside got the receipt and came out. At which time the super mom in the minivan that had just pulled up asks "Excuse me, Ma'am"
"Yes" I respond with a smile,
"You know that's illegal, right?"
Sigh.... "Yes, but you know, got to have a receipt..."
I jumped in the car and took off FUMING. Why? I'm still not sure. I'm sure I was embarrassed at being "caught" going into the store (especially since it was the FIRST time I've done that), secondly, I just wanted to ask her if she felt like she was the better mother after seeing the big, pregnant women waddle into the market to get a receipt. I was raging, which I have to think is partly hormonal as I actually handled myself pretty well, and overall the woman was asking out of kind concern. However, expecting a little sympathy from my hubby when I got home, I was greatly disappointed. "You should never do that, baby! I know you needed a receipt but you should have taken E with you..." Sigh.... I know...... Still there's something asinine about not being able to run into the gas station to get the receipt. 30seconds... I'm sure someone will respond with some sort of Drama in Real Life article they read in Reader's Digest, but at this moment, I'm more pissed off at a world in which you can't leave a locked, parked car with a strapped in kid in a five-point harness car seat (ever tried to get in and out fast? yea, impossible) to get a receipt from the gas station. argh....

Hands Off!

So, my last pregnancy I only had one person chronically rub my belly without asking. This past week, she came up to me and put her arm around me and I saw her hand move in for the rub. I literally grabbed her hand almost crushing it while saying "PLEASE, don't touch my belly." I felt bad but it was like this violent Mama Bear instinct that I've never experienced before. I seriously could have taken her down! It was so fast, and angry. I want to make up a tee-shirt that says, "Please don't pet the belly." I just hope I didn't hurt her hand!

We're Back!

It's been a crazy awesome month! Ads and I were able to go to England for 10 days on spiritual business and 2.5days of sightseeing. We spent an amazing 6 nights with two wonderful, godly people in their home, learning about God, leadership, etc. As well as getting to know God. True spiritual retreat. We then added on 2.5days in London at the end to do a bit of sightseeing in early celebration of our ten year anniversary. ( June 29th) We figured that with baby #2 coming at the end of March we aren't going to be going anywhere for a while!

So I have lots to share and will get around to it eventually! We got home the day before Thanksgiving so its been crazy busy! Plus we found out the sex of the new baby! Im too fragmented right now to try and put it all down! Will write more later!

My vote COUNTS!

WOOHOO! It actually works! Every candidate I voted for got elected! AND to top it off Rumsfeld stepped down! What a day! Granted we shall have to wait and see if this all plays out well, but I actually left the voting booth excited at the possibilities and it worked! I helped elect people to public office! Now that they won I'm feeling a certain responsibility to hold them accountable to the job. I've never really particiapated and it worked! I actually researched candidates and didn't just vote a party line. I looked at it as if I were an HR person and had certain requirements for the job and tried to find the best person for it.

What a privilege!
AND Rumsfeld stepped down!!! Its like a signing bonus!

Ladies Only

I was just reading another NY Times article , "What Do Women Want? Just Ask..." about the buying power of women and they mentioned the following websites as resources. BeJane.com for home improvement advice and AskPatty.com for automotive advice. Seeing how some of my favorite gifts are large power tools I am excited to explore these sites. I know so many women that love to do significant work on their homes and though the sites are pretty, Im hoping they will be useful. ( I like "pretty", I just mean, hopefully they will be substantial in content) So anyhow, maybe I'll be able to figure out how to tear up the tile on the new bathroom floor and replace it before baby D2 comes in March :)

With regards to the car thing, my Dad always did lots of car work and I feel uneducated in that area. I feel like I need to be a better consumer in that regard. Since the family is growing too, I would like to be able to make a responsible choice when it comes to a new vehicle as well. Hopefully we won't have to do that too soon (knock, knock) but when the time comes, I want to be informed, not just in a panic mode because the car has just died or something. Something that will allow for a rear and front facing car seat ( which by the way a VW Jetta does NOT accommodate very well without cutting off the legs of any front seat driver/passengers) , in addition to having a passenger in the middle seat as well as being environmentally efficient. And ultimately, something that won't make me look like a soccer mom..... I don't know if that's possible. But surely if we can make computers designer friendly we can get some cars goin' on with some sass and funk....

The Coast of Utopia

Woohoo! My brother's picture is in the NY Times! Check out this article from this weekend's NY Times. My brother is third from the left in the very back row. He is one of the understudies in the play and I am so very proud of him! I can't imagine what it would be like to work with the likes of Stoppard, Amy Irving, etc! What a privilege to learn from them. I wish the production much success. What an accomplishment!

Termites

My son is a termite. For some reason he loves any type of paper product, wood, cotton balls, etc. Check out the photos! Crazy kid! I couldn't figure out how he had time enough to gnaw on a roll of toilet paper without me knowing! I've never actually caught him in the act of gnawing but he's done a lot of damage. There goes the heirloom crib! LOL!

S.O.S.! I need new music!

I was just reading through my own profile and realized that half of the music that I have listed is primarily music my husband introduced me to... about 10 years ago. Help! I remember going through my parents record collection thinking "Wow they really used to listen to some awesome artists" But it was only up until about 1979. I asked my Dad what happened, why did they stop listening to cool music? His response was "You happened! Whose got time for listening to music when you've got two little kids?" or at least it was something like that. So guess what has happened? We've stopped listening to music. At least new music. All the radio stations up here suck and Lighting 100 doesn't do live streaming audio anymore... sigh. So, Im TOTALLY out of the loop, no cable TV, no great stations. Im not about to spend hours searching iTunes aimlessly for new music as I don't have the time, so for all three people that read this, tell me what to check out. Is there anything inspiring out there? You know, something that you heard for the first time and LOVED?

Gun Shy

So a weird thing happened last night. Ads left at 11:45pm last night for his prayer slot and at 11:53pm I woke to the sound of gunfire right outside my bedroom window. I sat up and looked to my right and saw a white suv'ish type truck speeding away. My immediate thought was that Ads was dead in a drive-by. However he had already left. So then I was up until he got home. I was so scared at first but then pretty pissed off. When I was sure no one was shot on the street, I thought "what jerk is stupid enough to fire a round out the window of their car just for fun." Then I was wondering if Im supposed to do anything about it. Are you supposed to call the police for something like that? Crazy world.

Ginger Tea

I've been drinking Ginger tea in hopes that it will quell my nausea. Ads and I have are expecting number two! Yea! We are very excited, though while at the hospital visiting friend number four and her newborn baby, I panicked. As I am holding her tiny newborn (5lb 9oz) Big E starts playing and throwing something. I realized that as I tried to hold this one baby in one arm and control The Big E with the other, that we might have gotten ourselves in over our heads! So March 31rst is the target date. My clothes are already too small and my brain has already gone to pieces. sigh... might be a while before I have any deep thoughts...

ER

So about a week ago, we made our first trip to the E. R. The Big E thumped, hit the ground and started crying. I saw him get up off the ground by our attic door and scooped him up for hugs and kisses. He cried for about 20 seconds, hopped off my lap got a book and brought it to me to read. After reading the book I stood up and took his hand to walk with him to his room. To my dismay (and guilt) he had smeared blood on his hand. I had looked at his mouth expecting a bloody lip and saw no blood. Where was it coming from? His ear. When he went down he must have banged his head up against our new door trim and it split his ear. Off to the emergency room. (At this point the panic has transfered to me and he is now running around quite happily playing) Long story short, E had six stitches in his left ear. A sad and traumatic event . (Did you know they have full body "papooses" for toddlers?) All has recovered well and I have to say that Im glad this was as bad as it got for a visit to the E.R. Of course guilt consumed me everytime EVERY medical person asked "what happened". I just wanted to say "He's a boy, 20months and no longer remembers how to walk, he only runs, and when he falls he refuses to let go of whatever it was he is holding onto."

Oliver

My honey and I have this friend Oliver from school that is biking across the U.S. this summer. I have really enjoyed his blog as I can't get away this summer for a vacation. Kinda a vicarious cross-country roadtrip. I believe he started out in Astoria, Oregon and makes his way to Virginia. He's always been a free spirit and at one point had hiked the entire Appalachian Trail.
I always admire those that actually take the time to adventure like that. Hopefully I'll get the guts to do something I've always wanted to do.... Thats the part Im having trouble with... What IS it that I've always wanted to do??

"An Inconvenient Truth"

No joke, yesterday I filled up my car to the price tag of $40.00. 12.97 gallons..... Crikey! I can hardly believe it! When I was in high school I could give my girlfriend $10.00 for driving me home from track practice and it would fill the car up! That was only 10 years ago!

That being said, my honey and I got an email from a mutual friend that is a pastor in Chicago. The friend had just seen the Al Gore documentary "An Inconvenient Truth" and was urging everyone to go see it. Now, I will say that even as a Tennessee resident I totally did not vote for Gore in 2000 as I did not then nor do I now think that he was the right choice... It's seriously a whole other post... I voted for Nader....

ANYHOW! I enjoyed the documentary, though dragging a little at times and I was sure I was going to see an Apple advert at the end due to the numerous "Al Gore with his Apple computer" shots, it was worth the 2hrs or whatever. (The music is a bit overly dramatic when it doesn't need to be, the subject speaks for itself) Having grown up in a school system that taught about Earth Day, recycling etc, I found that there wasn't necessarily any thing "new" about the message. What was frustrating was how evident it was that we haven't GOTTEN it yet. There was one part in particular that totally made me mad and that was something about how because of our emissions standards or MPG standards are so low that we can't even sell cars in other parts of the world because their standards are higher. There were definitely some graphs to see that really helped spell out the issue for me as a visual person. I will have a hard time forgetting what those graphs looked like. They totally looked like the folks in Washington have never gone to school. Or at least the type I grew up in.

But the big question comes to this... "Now what?" As a household manager, what steps will I take to actually try and reduce my households carbon 'whatever'? I learned about recycling and such as a kid in elementary school but now its time to actually put what I learned into practice as an ADULT. Part of the problem right there, as a consumer nation no one wants to take responsibility for anything.

So any ideas? Any tips on Green Homemaking? We already recycle cans, plastic, paper etc. Any thoughts on Gas furnace vs. Oil? Both are natural resources... Pretty much the same price at the moment and both have shot up over the years. Any thoughts?


P.S. The message I grew up with in school was to take care of the environment because its the responsible thing to do. Especially in light of the effects that it DOES have. Case in point : Aquanet hairspray. Big hair, no-no. You can barely find the stuff nowadays. Secondly, this idea of environmental stewardship is only reinforced morally through the reading of Biblical Scriptures. We were created in part to take care of the Earth God created, yes the depravity of man shows itself in social injustices, but man's sin spills itself over into over consumption as well. An environmental obesity if you will...

Karen E. Negri Santoro

Karen,

I just realized that when you and Bob hired me as a part-time employee, that you were only two years older than I am right now! When I look back I am amazed at how much LIFE you have lived over the years...

Adam and I loved you guys very much, we were always trying to figure out how to get in contact with you over the years. Im not sure if you ever got it, but I sent a note to you guys when I got my first real job in the design world after college. I realize now that it must have been when you might have been pretty busy with expecting Dawson.

You were the first woman in my life, outside of family and church, that poured into me and encouraged me to take the path that greatly shaped me into the woman I am today. You took a high school kid who was fooling around with drafting and encouraged her to go further with it. I had only thought about Interior Design, but by allowing me to work with the two of you, I had an inside peak at the industry. I saw what a partnership looked like professionally and with regards to marriage. You always made me feel like I was an important part of the firm, I never just felt like an employee, whether drafting, thinning out Bob's magazines or painting the fence, I felt like I was part of the family, not just part of the business.

You guys were always living life to its fullest. I remember you guys off in the Cayman Islands, Honduras and a few other places, and that's only in the year and a half I worked for you!

You told me funny stories about your college years, something about 'borrowing' bulletin boards... I can't remember now exactly. You actually gave me a list of things NOT to do in school!

You took me seriously, when Ads and I broke up, you didn't treat it like a high school romance gone bad, you actually listened to me and gave me really good advice. You didn't just brush it off. You were very caring...

A month before Ads and I got married we tracked you down in Atlanta, Ga. We didn't have your phone number and from a pay phone , Adam called information and got the listing for every Robert Santoro in the book. Eventually we found what we hoped was you guys. We busted out the map and drove around until we found one of the houses. You and Bob were outside stripping paint off of the doors of the house. You looked up from your work and just stared at us until we got really close. Turns out you didnt have your glasses on and couldn't figure out who Bob was making such a fuss over. The funny thing was you guys didn't even live at this house, you were working on it to sell. We could have totally missed you guys that day! It was great catching up! I remember you saying that you wouldn't be able to come to our wedding because you were going to be just getting back from the Dominican Republic in celebration of you fifth(?) anniversary. That means you just celebrated your fourteenth a week ago....

Anyhow, you guys kept moving on, next was California. That awesome card you sent with the picture of you two in your new house. I remember it said that from the roof you could see the ocean looking forward and looking at the backyard, the mountains. It even had an orange tree in the yard! So many new beginnings.

A year ago I tried sending you a birth announcement for my son. It came back and I wondered if you guys had moved onto somewhere else. We always thought about you and Bob, wondering if you guys had started a family or not. I think I found online when I was trying to track you guys down that you were pregnant (with Dawson?) . It was when Bob was resigning from the Para-gliding club. I always thought it was funny that I could find that out from the meeting minutes but I couldn't find your address! You guys must have been so excited, and evidently, everyone else was excited for you also!

I had always hoped that we could surprise you guys again, by flying out to CA and just showing up again on your doorstep.... Im so sorry that I wont be able to see you again... My heart just hurts so much at that thought...

We are praying for Bob and Dawson with a desperation that you can only imagine. Im sure you know how many people loved you and will do anything for your family.

Thank you so much for so many funny, wonderful memories and for being such a beautiful person. Thank you for following your dreams and for showing me how to live life to its fullest. I could go on with so many stories...

May you find everlasting joy with your little one, Ian, in the arms of our Lord and Savior.

Peace to you...

Gardening Pitfalls

Aaaccck!! I have the MOST wicked case of Poison Ivy that I have ever suffered. All over my arms, ankles and back of my knees. I just want to peel my skin off. I do so well not to scratch and then my hand brushes the area, which leads to a tiny scratch and before I know it, I can't control myself. It just feels too good to not scratch.

In the mean time, Im trying to teach Big E not to throw his toys. Im trying to start early with learning how to take care of our things. The problem lays in the fact that whenever I have him sit in his chair as a 5min time out, he laughs at me and shakes his head saying "no, no! No, no!" That seriously makes me want to throw my hands in the air and say "forget it!" Maybe I need to try something else. But what if I do that right as he begins to get the point? sigh....

Comments

Evidently I had something turned off or switched off that wouldn't let people make comments. I believe I have remedied the situation! Comment away....